Chapter 6, Determination

"You don't believe that I have a good attitude?" Feino smiled for a moment, then composed himself and said seriously, "I am well aware of my own body. As for Xinian, that night I was completely unconscious and didn't know what happened... How is she?"

Cheng Lang raised his hand and pointed to his head, an action that instantly made Fei Nuo's heart sink: "We also do not know whether she hit her head while wrestling or was emotionally stimulated. The blood clot has started to swell again, and its position has changed. The situation is not looking good. We have taken some scans, and both Lao Ni and I agree that an early surgery is necessary... However, the risks of the surgery, I will not hide from you, are incomparable to the previous surgical plan."

This overly agreeable and cooperative attitude instead made Cheng Lang a bit suspicious. He raised an eyebrow and asked Fei Nuo, "What is going on with you? You have no objections even when you are not allowed to work. Is the sun rising from the west?"

He answered exceptionally sincerely, and coupled with his good attitude, it surprisingly quelled Cheng Lang's pent-up anger. He sighed deeply at Fei Nuo, then pulled over a chair to sit down and said slowly: "I just came off the operating table. I heard you woke up, so I came to see you. I have reviewed the treatment plan; it involves rest. I have already spoken to the attending physician, so take your time. Fei Nuo, this time you must honestly stay in the hospital; you are not allowed to go anywhere, let alone dream of being discharged early. I have reviewed the treatment plan; it involves rest. I have already spoken to the attending physician, so take your time. Fei Nuo, this time you must honestly stay in the hospital; you are not allowed to go anywhere, let alone dream of being discharged early. You must learn a lesson, you workaholic."

Aunt Xu, being straightforward and outspoken, interjected: "I have also prepared the meals for Xinian, all of which she likes to eat. I will send them over shortly."

Fei Nuo instinctively reached out to brush her hair aside, wanting to see clearly. As soon as he moved, it tugged at the hand connected to the IV, causing the needle to pierce deeper into the vein, making him shudder slightly. In this way, like a domino effect, Pan Xi Nian almost immediately woke up, sitting up straight and whispering, "I am not injured, please do not drive me away." While saying this, his hand still firmly grasped Fei Nuo's arm.

Amidst the cries were mixed feelings of fear and dread, yet there was also a sense of relief. Feino allowed her to weep freely in his embrace, the only thing he did was gently pat her back with the hand that still had some mobility, as if comforting a lost child. As she continued to cry, Pan Xinian's voice gradually lowered, still murmuring something, but nothing was discernible.

It was only then that he noticed that both of Pan Xinian's feet were bandaged, with a spot on the sole faintly seeping blood. Feino could not help but frown, hardening his heart as he pulled away her hand that was wrapped around his neck: "Xinian, listen to the nurse and go back to the ward first. Your wound is bleeding again"

After a moment of silence, Cheng Lang finally looked up at Fei Nuo and said: "It's not good. She sustained some external injuries when she called for help, but these are merely superficial wounds, so the situation is not serious. The problem lies here."

Aunt Xu, seeing Fei Nuo awake, hurried to the bedside with a mix of surprise and joy: "Mr. Fei, are you feeling any better? I came to work yesterday morning and found the door unlocked, the living room in disarray with tables and chairs all moved around. I thought there had been a burglary, it really scared me. Later, it was the neighbors upstairs who told me that Xi Nian had gone to their house to call for help and an ambulance, only then did I realize that you had been taken to the hospital."

This day felt like a relentless battle. Not long after Aunt Xu left, I heard that Cheng Lang, who had just woken up from a coma, rushed in. He was quite straightforward and did not hold back, immediately launching into a tirade: "Are you trying to throw your life away? Do you have to wait until you have acute gastric bleeding to seek help? The day before yesterday when you came to the hospital, I was right in front of you, and you didn’t even mention that you’ve been having stomach pains lately? You really need to change this terrible habit of gritting your teeth and enduring everything, or you will end up dying from it sooner or later!" The day before yesterday when you came to the hospital, I was right in front of you, and you didn’t even mention that you’ve been having stomach pains lately? You really need to change this terrible habit of gritting your teeth and enduring everything, or you will end up dying from it sooner or later!

Even in the dim light, it was still evident that Pan Xinian's cheeks suspiciously flushed with a hint of red, revealing an unmistakable shyness and restlessness that he could not conceal as he glanced around. After hearing Feino's question, Pan Xinian hesitated for a moment before saying, "I don't know either, I just can't sleep... I just wanted to come and see you"

Well

I am not rushing you. I will come to see you when it gets light, okay?

"It's a deal." Her smile became increasingly vivid

Let me speak.

Her terrified and pleading expression pierced Feno's heart even more sharply than the needle from earlier Unable to bear seeing Pan Xinian's panicked look as she glanced around Feno grasped her shoulders and said: "Xinian, it's me. How did you end up here?"

Understood

Once again, a rosy hue appeared on her face, which made Pan Xinian radiate with brilliance: "No... I just... I just clumsily knocked everything over, I'm sorry... I can't see... Once I fall, I lose all sense of direction."

She let out a brief laugh, but her expression remained somewhat stiff due to nervousness: "Brother Cheng Lang and Doctor Ni examined me, and they didn't close the door properly; the hearing of a blind person is always particularly acute..."

Because his mind was filled with how to tell Pan Xinian about the surgery, Fei Nuo had a restless sleep and, for some reason, woke up midway. It was precisely because of his poor sleep that when he once again saw Pan Xinian leaning over the bed and grasping his hand, Fei Nuo almost thought that this was yet another new dream.

She instinctively bit her lip and said in a muffled voice, "Do you really want to drive me away?"

Pan Xinian saw that Feino wanted to drive her away, so she quickly shook her head, groped for a chair nearby, and sat down: "I am not tired. My feet are fine. How about you? Are you okay? I asked Brother Cheng Lang, and he said you had acute gastric bleeding... The nurse said that too much stress and hardship can easily lead to this problem... You have been so busy during this time, plus with the matter of Pan Xing..."

The person by the bed clearly froze, all movements suddenly came to a halt, and these small actions all fell into Feino's eyes. For a moment, he even felt a bit flustered, turning around to switch on the bedside lamp: "Why are you here again?"

A person is always prone to fatigue when ill. Shortly after Cheng Lang left, Fei Nuo felt overwhelmingly tired again, even too lazy to eat the congee that Aunt Xu had sent earlier, and almost as soon as he closed his eyes, he fell asleep again

Cheng Lang completely dispelled his attempt to explain: "Are you still daring to procrastinate with your old habits? Stomach ailments can also be fatal. I certainly do not wish to personally remove a large portion of your stomach at that time"

The prolonged silence made Pan Xinian feel uneasy. She slightly turned her face and assumed a listening posture: "Feino, why aren't you speaking? Are you feeling unwell again?"

She slowly shook her head and even gave him a smile: "I can hardly wait. You know, ever since the date for the surgery was set, I've been thinking about it. I can't even remember what you look like, but after the surgery, I will be able to see you. How wonderful."

Cheng Lang's expression was serious. Although Fei Nuo could not see his own face at that moment, he could feel every line on it tightening. The two men, who had known each other for most of their lives, sat facing each other for a long time, but it was Cheng Lang who spoke first: "I haven't discussed the surgery with Xi Nian yet... I wanted to wait until you wake up and until her emotions stabilize a bit before..."

Aunt Xu spoke quickly and anxiously, her worried expression barely concealed. Hearing her say this, Feino felt a stir in his heart and responded, "Hmm?"

In an instant, the ward fell silent

Hmm! The surgery needs to be advanced. The one performing the operation is still Doctor Ni. In fact, everything remains the same except for the timing. Are you afraid, Xinian?

Seeing her like this, Fei Nuo felt a deep bitterness in his heart. He thought about the promise he made to Cheng Lang earlier to personally inform her about the surgery, which perhaps was a completely wrong decision. He had lived for thirty years and prided himself on never having feared anything, yet now, facing this frail girl who was almost a generation younger than him, he felt a sense of retreat for the first time as the moment approached.

Upon waking again, it was because something heavy in his dream was pulling him down with all its might, leaving half of his body feeling completely foreign. Fino furrowed his brow in discomfort, wanting to turn over but unable to move. After much effort, he finally opened his eyes from the haze of sleep, and the first thing that came into view was the sleeping face of Pan Xinian.

Rest assured. Mr. Fei, you are truly a good person, still caring for others despite your own illness. I will do my best to take care of Xi Nian here. Well... I will head over now.

Gradually, the sensation in his hands and feet returned. He turned his head and saw a bag of plasma hanging to one side, with the plasma slowly flowing into his vein through the infusion tube. Feino could only watch for a moment before being overwhelmed by waves of fatigue and dizziness, and soon fell asleep again

The only thing she could do was cry out repeatedly. She clung to Feino, her cheek pressed against his neck, her warm, wet tears dripping deep into his collar, remaining warm long after.

Feino then noticed the several thermos containers she had brought. Not feeling hungry at the moment and preoccupied with other thoughts, he simply said, "Wait a moment, I will handle it myself, thank you. As for Xinian..."

She still sleeps quietly and submissively, her long hair spread out on the pale sheets, exuding a strange and captivating luster. Under the dim wall lamp, the scars on her forehead seem to be hidden in the shadows. Only this one person lies quietly by his bedside, her fingers cautiously yet stubbornly holding onto his hand, revealing complete trust and attachment even in her dreams. Under the dim wall lamp, the scars on her forehead seem to be hidden in the shadows. Only this one person lies quietly by his bedside, her fingers cautiously yet stubbornly holding onto his hand, revealing complete trust and attachment even in her dreams.

I want to be by your side

While speaking, her hands trembled slightly. Fei Nuo pretended not to see and smiled encouragingly at her: "Yes, after the surgery, it will be the New Year. By then, when you can see, we can go out and have fun with Cheng Lang and Xiao Tong. At that time, you can go wherever you want."

Old Ni is not confident that he can ensure she gets off the operating table

Pan Xinian spoke almost clumsily without stopping, glancing at the position where Feino was after wiping away her tears, and repeatedly lowering her head to prevent Feino from seeing the new tears that had welled up. Feino did not interrupt her, allowing her to speak endlessly, until the sobs in her voice, which she tried to suppress, could no longer be hidden. Only then did he firmly hold Pan Xinian's shoulders and say, "Don't cry, I'm fine..."

Fino was momentarily speechless: "I apologize, I fell asleep this afternoon. However, this time I assure you that I will come to see you as soon as I wake up tomorrow. I have matters to discuss with you."

Fino suddenly felt a bit frustrated, staring blankly at the palm of his right hand, to the extent that he missed the extremely subtle movement of Pan Xinian's face as he secretly turned it.

Go now, it is not a problem on my end. These past few days, Yang Shuru has probably been overwhelmed, and I won't be better for a while, so I will have to trouble you more.

"There is nothing going on at home, nothing at all." Aunt Xu misunderstood, repeatedly offering comfort. Midway through her words, she seemed to recall something, furrowing her brow and letting out a heavy sigh, "Shurui just hurt her hand, and now you are unwell, and it's the middle of the night. If it weren't for Xinian being so clever, it could have turned into a serious matter. That child Xinian, truly..."

Hmm?

"What if we don't perform the surgery?" After a long pause with a blank expression, Feino finally asked slowly

Her calmness somewhat infected Feino, dispelling the shadows that loomed over his heart, making the uncertain surgery ahead no longer seem so grim and cold. Feino smiled slightly; he felt proud of her

The cold sensation still lingered in his palm, yet Feino was completely stunned—this was not an action of an elder towards a junior. Or rather, it should be said that in that moment of uncontrollable emotion, he did not regard her as a junior.

Are you saying ... ... ?

Fearing to wake her, Fei Nuo remained still. In the silence of his gaze, he soon noticed the bandage on Pan Xi Nian's finger, as well as the faint scars hidden beneath her hair.

The last memory before losing consciousness was falling onto the floor of his own study, and after that, there was a complete blank. The unique bitter smell of disinfectant and medicine in the room reminded him that this was definitely not home, but he truly could not recall how he ended up here at all

A few minutes later, Fei Nuo caught a glimpse of Pan Xi Nian's shoulder moving slightly from the corner of his eye, and thus gently spoke up: "Xi Nian"

Not long after, the door to the ward was suddenly opened, and the nurse pushing in a wheelchair happened to be the one who was responsible for Pan Xinian when she was first hospitalized. Seeing the situation before her, she frowned and said: "I knew you would sneak back here again. You are all patients and need to rest. I have already told you that his condition is stable; what he needs now is to recuperate... Pan Xinian, please cooperate a little and return to your own ward with me; it is time for a dressing change."

Pan Xinian cried to the point of being somewhat delirious. After hearing Feino's words, he could only shake his head desperately, one hand clutching Feino's sleeve while the other futilely wiped away his tears, resembling a forsaken little animal, so pitiful that Feino found it difficult to finish his sentence. However, remaining in such a state was certainly not a solution, nor was it beneficial for Pan Xinian's health. He nodded to the nurse, disregarding the IV still attached to his hand, and with determination, lifted Pan Xinian horizontally, gently and carefully placing him in the wheelchair.

Fino originally intended to pat her shoulder as he used to, but halfway through he changed his mind, withdrew his hand, and then said: "You have done very well. Aunt Xu came to the hospital this afternoon and told me what happened at home. Thank you for your hard work, and thank you, Xinian"

From her statements, Fei Nuo suddenly realized that during the years he had not paid attention, Pan Xi Nian had been quietly changing. She was no longer the girl who, six months ago, was so angry and desperate due to the sudden accident that she had to resort to hysteria to hide her helplessness and despair. On the contrary, she was supporting herself with tenacity and hope, allowing herself to grow faster.

Before she could finish her sentence, Pan Xinian, nearly in tears, stumbled into Feino's embrace, exclaiming: "No matter how much I call you, you won't wake up..."

"Xi Nian, be obedient, go change your dressing first, I will accompany you shortly." After saying this, I slightly increased my grip and held Pan Xi Nian's hand, as a promise.

Old habits, I didn't expect them to suddenly flare up

Fino firmly said: "Let me tell her. When is the surgery scheduled? What should I tell her?"

Her expression seemed somewhat troubled, hesitating for a moment; while Fei Nuo was always very patient, waiting for her to organize her words and continue: "What a hardworking good child... Mr. Fei, did you see her? When I came to the hospital yesterday, you were still asleep, so I sat with her for a while. She fell and was bruised all over, not knowing where she stepped on the glass. The nurse said she had a cut as long as a finger, and when she was brought in, the soles of her feet were covered in blood, with the flesh exposed... Her eyesight is also poor, and I don't know how much she suffered before she managed to call the neighbor to make this call..."

The conversation with Cheng Lang lasted an entire afternoon. Besides discussing Pan Xinian's surgery and condition, the two inevitably talked about the past events involving Pan Yue and Ai Jing. Before leaving, Cheng Lang saw Fei Nuo with a serious expression and was unsure of what to say, or perhaps everything that needed to be said had already been said; he simply patted him on the shoulder. Fei Nuo appreciated the gesture, nodded, and said: "Thank you for the comfort. It seems that I am probably the one who needs comfort the least right now."

Pan Xinian was stunned. He stood frozen in disbelief for a long time, then suddenly began to tremble violently. At the moment he opened his mouth, his voice was hoarse: "Feino, you are awake..."

Pan Xinian lowered her head once again, revealing her fair neck, which shone as brilliantly as a new moon on a winter night. Her voice showed no fluctuations, as if she were recounting the past of a completely unrelated stranger: "Are you going to talk to me about the surgery?"

No. I was thinking, you really should go back to sleep

Seeing her getting anxious again, Feno hurriedly reassured her: "It's two different matters. This is an old issue of mine; a few days of rest will suffice. Xinian, it should be me taking care of you, yet here you are worrying about me."

The moment Feino put on his coat, he unintentionally touched her shoulder, so small and frail, almost delicate enough to be held in one hand. Even just a few days ago, in his memory, she was not like this. The contrast between reality and memory stirred something within Feino, and even he himself did not initially realize that before retracting his hand, he could not help but stroke Pan Xinian's hair.

You said the same thing earlier. I have been waiting, but you never came

While speaking, he gazed at Pan Xinian's face. The young girl, unaware of how to perfectly and skillfully conceal the emotions within her heart, whether joy or sorrow, infatuation or disappointment, always left deep and shallow marks.

She lay on the edge of the hospital bed, her upper body resting heavily, deeply asleep, perhaps lost in some dream. Her eyelashes trembled slightly, almost imperceptibly, like the wings of a butterfly brushed by a gentle breeze. In her slumber, the girl clutched Feno's arm tightly with one hand, while the other hand carefully held his wrist, avoiding the site of the blood transfusion, maintaining a position that was not comfortable and could even be described as awkward

... ...

The nurse walked to the bedside and saw that Pan Xinian still refused to let go. She sighed and said, "Teacher Fei, I have advised her many times, but it has been of no use. During the day and night that you were asleep, she would run over as soon as I took my eyes off her for a moment. Both of her soles are scratched, and even when I told her not to walk, she wouldn't listen. Now that you are awake, please persuade her as well."

At first glance, this was entirely a hug of dependence, leaving the tears on Pan Xinian's face on one side of Feino's cheek. The accompanying dampness and heat lingered long after Pan Xinian and the nurse who cared for her had left. He felt weary, yet had no inclination to sleep, sitting on the edge of the bed in a daze, recalling that he should call Aunt Xu to inform her. Unexpectedly, before he could even dial the number, the person had already arrived.

Fei Nuo silently gazed at her, remaining quiet for a long time without stirring or waking her; it was not until he felt the fingers of Pan Xi Nian resting beside his hand grow slightly cool that he suddenly realized she was dressed too lightly. With the hand that was still able to move, he laboriously reached for the coat placed on the chair by the bed, and as gently as possible, he covered her with it.

As consciousness returned to him once more, Fino found himself surrounded by darkness, and it was only after a considerable amount of time that he finally saw the light-colored ceiling.

If it were before, it would just be a matter of whether things are visible or not; now, it is a question of whether one can preserve life or not

She hurriedly forced a smile, but tears streamed down her face at the same time. Realizing this, she quickly lowered her head and wiped away her tears: "That's great, you finally woke up. The doctor said it was acute gastritis that caused severe gastrointestinal bleeding... If you had been sent here any later, it would have been terrible... Feino, at that time, no matter how I called you or pushed you, you didn't respond... Ah, I'm sorry, I said I wouldn't cry, um, I won't cry now, it won't happen again... Feino, at that time, no matter how I called you or pushed you, you didn't respond... Ah, I'm sorry, I said I wouldn't cry, um, I won't cry now, it won't happen again..."

This old friend, when his temper flares, never holds back. Feino could only manage a bitter smile as he continued to scold with a fierce expression: "Fortunately, this time Xinian was at home, and thankfully she was clever enough to go out and call for help; otherwise, both of you would truly be doomed! Back then, you swore you would take care of the patient; just look at the monstrous state you are in now!"

Aunt Xu chattered on about a lot of things, recalling the appearance of Pan Xinian from earlier. As she spoke, her emotions became stirred, and her eyes turned red. She quickly took out a handkerchief to wipe her face and was about to continue speaking when she noticed Fei Nuo with his head down, silent and seemingly deep in thought. Assuming he was tired, she wisely decided to stop her conversation: "Mr. Fei, the doctor said that porridge is suitable for your illness. I have cooked some plain porridge; would you like me to serve it to you now to cool it down?"

This sentence proved effective, as Pan Xinian followed the sound to find Feino's position, and affectionately embraced his neck, saying: "Hmm..."

The voice was undeniably low, yet each word was as clear as if it had been carved with a knife. Fino did not respond to her insinuation, but simply replied in his usual tone: "I still need to stay in the hospital for a while, and you won't be able to leave either, so we are just keeping each other company."

The hands of the watch have already passed the hour of two. Feino looked at her weary face, yet he was unwilling to leave, and could only say: "It is already past two in the middle of the night; you should go back and get some sleep. You still have an injury on your foot"

Yes

"I am of no use at all..." she said, her expression once again darkening.